About an hour out from the shelter I smelled 💩POOP💩. All caps & double emojis are most definitely necessary. It was that special kind of malignant odor that tugs on the nostril hairs at the back of your nose and forces you to snap your mouth shut for fear of follow through on your gag reflex. The kind of smell that only a wormy feral kitten can produce.
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| Does not do it justice. |
...How am I going to do this??? (You DON'T!!!!!!!!!!!)
...Do I just leave it and keep going? (YES!!!!!!!!!!!)
...They shouldn't travel like this! They'll get even more covered in it. (They'll be FINE!!!!!!!!!!!)
...Ok. How do I do this? (You DON'T!!!!!!!!!!!)
Sigh.
I'm in a 2014 Subaru Forester, with the back seat full of carriers. In the cargo area, the Fecal Five in their carrier, plus my wildlife containment bins. No real room to shut all the doors and take care of business. This was the moment I should've realized that there was no safe way to complete this task and just resigned myself to an hour of toxic air quality and the fact that I'd be delivering excrement-covered kittens. Instead, I still attempted to clean.
I think I'd be able to "quickly dump" the kittens into one of my wildlife bins (one of those 20gal plastic totes with holes drilled), slam on the tote lid (again, holes are drilled), and take care of the carrier. My tailgate was open and I'm standing at my rear bumper as I set all this up in the cargo area. A moment of pause.
...Ok. Can I get in here and shut the door behind me? (Moves all unnecessary items to on top of carriers in back seat.)
...Not really.
...Maybe if I use the tote lid as a barricade...(Uses body to pin lid against tote while left arm cradles Fecal Five carrier and right arm reaches around lid barricade to open carrier door.)
Kittens huddle in the back of the carrier and don't move.
...Ok. Maybe I can pull them out one at a time...(Five angry tigers lunge and spit and swipe at me. The lid barricade falls down onto the parking lot. Close carrier door.)
...Do I have gloves? No. Beach towel though...(Reset. WHY ARE YOU STILL DOING THIS?)
Now they are mad and terrified and full of adrenaline. Awesome. Yet I still try to execute this misguided task. The next several events unfold in a matter of seconds but it plays in slow motion in my brain. I open the carrier door again and quickly turn it door down into the tote. Five wild kittens tumble out of the carrier. Now empty, the carrier careens backwards on the pivot point that is my forearm and crashes to the cargo bed floor. Loud noise. I stare at 5 dazed kittens in the tote and throw the beach towel that was wrapped around my right arm on top of them as I grab for the lid. Tortoiseshell kitten springs out of the tote and disappears. Panic! I can't get the tote lid on as the towel is tangled! An orange one pops out of the tote. NO! MUST SHUT TAILGATE! Step back and slam tailgate closed. Now what? There are five poop-covered kittens loose in my car. A moment of pause.
...Ok. I'm not cleaning the carrier anymore. (YA THINK?!)
I watch through my back window as the remaining three kittens bolt out of the tote. Perfect. I resolve to enter the backseat, quickly close the door behind me, and search for the kittens. I crack the rear passenger door. Little brown tabby is perched in the door's drink holding pocket. Time freezes. Our eyes are locked and unblinking. In an instant, I open the door a fraction wider so I can lunge at and grab the little brown tabby. I miss. LBT parkours the door to avoid me and lands on the parking lot right next to the car. I see LBT process the situation immediately. I'm frozen. I watch in horror as LBT makes a top speed bee-line across the parking lot toward a drainage ditch. RUN AFTER IT! Wait-SHUT THE DOOR! I shut the rear passenger door. I look up. LBT has vanished. A wave of nausea constricts my stomach.
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| In less than 21 minutes it all went to hell. |
Temperatures are in the mid-nineties. The heat index warning is over 100℉. Dazed, I stagger over to the driver's door and carefully, slowly, open it to the minimum width and slide myself into the driver's seat. I turn the car on and crank the A/C. I look all around the front seat area that I can from the driver's seat. I mount the center console and dismount into the passenger's front seat. Look under the driver's seat and see two terrified orange kittens huddled together. I reach for one and they attack. I stop. They're accounted for, move on. I wedge between the two front seats and flop into the back seat to continue my search. With all of the carriers WITH CATS IN THEM, my belongings, my wildlife gear, and my emergency travel supplies strewn all over, it's difficult. I am able to maneuver enough to determine that there are no loose kittens here. I stretch myself over the tangle of carriers and gear to search the cargo area. I am not able to conduct a thorough search from this awkward position, and I'll be damned if I'm going to open the tail gate. Sigh. Ok. 2 kittens under driver's seat. 2 kittens in car...somewhere. LBT loose OUTSIDE. Shift focus.
I crawl my way back into the driver's seat and move the car into the parking lot of an abandoned BBQ restaurant next door so it is closer to the drainage ditch I hope LBT is in. I call my boyfriend, who is an hour away, and burst into tears as the story of the last half hour strangles my voice. He offers to come help me look and, sobbing gratefully, I accept. After we hang up, I update the Facebook chat of the situation, then take some time to compose myself. Calmer and clear-eyed, I carefully leave the car with it still running for the A/C. I cross the frontage road and begin to walk the top edge of the drainage ditch to look for LBT.
The ditch walls are thick with tangled pricker vines so I move slowly and strain to hear for the faintest rustle or hiss. Back and forth. On my knees. Maybe he didn't make it as far as this ditch?! I cross back over the frontage road and begin to scan the overgrowth on the edges of the parking lots and behind the abandoned BBQ restaurant. My breath catches as I see two cats. They're adults and the wrong color. Exhale. I move toward the two cats and they retreat into a small stand of trees and shrubs at the back corner of the property. I follow them and see several paper plates and baking tins filled with cat food. A small uplifting glimmer-there's a colony here! I push through the shrubs and out into the parking lot of the adjacent hotel. There are three more cats lounging outside the lobby doors.
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| These guys were no help. |
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| Not interested in helping. |
I go into the hotel to see if I can tell a human to be on the lookout for my escapee. The woman working the front desk happens to be the one who feeds the cats that live here! I show her the picture of LBT and she promises to keep a look out. She joins me for a couple of turns around the parking lot of searching and she tells me more about the colony that lives here. There are a LOT of them. No one is TNR-ing them. Ooophf. That's for another day.
My boyfriend arrives and we begin to search the drainage ditch again. He walks the top edge and I gingerly work my way through the spines and thorns down into the bottom of the ditch. Inch by inch, I pick my way along the ditch bottom all the while scanning the thicket covered walls for any sign of LBT. I'm swimming in perspiration, up to my ankles in mud, with scrapes and tears all over my arms. I start to feel my fragile hold on my composure slipping away and my boyfriend urges me to take a break in the car. I comply and update the ladies in the Facebook chat.
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| Says it all, really. |
I finally arrive at FCNMHP at 7pm and the ladies I'm meeting are there and ready to help! We offload the 9 cats still in their carriers and distribute them into the facility and vehicles they were destined for. Now that my car was free of cat-filled carriers, one of the ladies closed herself into my car and proceeded to find and extract the four feral kittens. First up-find that tortie! In my backseat, she leans over into the cargo area and begins to move bins and gear around. Miracle! The little tortie lady was hunkered down behind my emergency supplies and under my other wildlife containment bin! Whew. She was timid and an easy grab. Next up, the two guarding the underside of my driver's seat. This fearsome twosome were a bit more of a challenge, but after several sweaty minutes they were plopped into a carrier finally secure again. Now, dashboard kitty.
This devoted woman, pulling kittens out of every corner of my car, who was with me virtually all afternoon via our Facebook chat offering advice and encouragement, dug herself as far up into my dash as she could, but this kitten would not budge. Exhausted, but not beaten, she suggested that since everyone else was safe and where they were supposed to be, we drive to her friend's house where it's more secure (private property) and we can take our time. Off we went to a neighborhood about 5 minutes away. In her friend's driveway we started in again trying to remove the dashboard kitten. Another friend was recruited to come over and join us-a mechanic who could potentially remove my dashboard! Once he arrived, he began to gently remove fastenings that would free the dashboard all while my hero remained on her back in the driver's footwell keeping her eyes on the kitty. The noise of the dashboard slowly coming apart around him scared the trapped kitten right into the arms of my hero!
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| Relief! |
Ahhhhhhhh. My car was put back together and, wrung out, I began the 2.5 hour journey back home with the malodorous manure smell still lingering in the cabin. When I neared the fateful exit I decided to take it and have one last look around despite it being late at night and dark. I spent 20 minutes driving slowly around all the businesses and through their parking lots. I stopped into the hotel lobby again, and the nice lady from earlier had not seen LBT at all that evening. Sigh.
I learned a painful lesson. I hope this loss is the only one I ever endure. I am grateful there is a colony at that exit that people feed, so hopefully this wily little brown tabby will ingratiate and become part of the clowder. I hope LBT is a boy so at the very least I didn't just release litter upon litter of future kittens into that area since s/he had not yet been fixed. I'm happy that my kitten-extracting hero fell in love with the kitten stuck in my dashboard and will be keeping "Dash" for her very own! 💗 Finally, I am grateful to the wonderful and kind women who were there with me through every moment of my harrowing afternoon and into the evening-glued to their Facebook Messenger apps. I felt supported and NOT alone through it all. Many heartfelt thanks to the Wednesday transport team for being there for me with words of support, assistance, know-how, and hugs. I'm lucky to be a part of the Underground Tailroad network!
The transport: Savannah, GA > Hinesville, GA > Jacksonville, FL > Savannah, GA
The mileage: ~320
The passengers: 14 kittens+cats
The destination: Jacksonville rescues
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