Outside my comfort zone.

I put myself out there today and it was uncomfortable. 

The stakes weren't even that high. I created a 2-question survey for my family, friends, and fellow rescue advocates to get feedback on what my would-be non-profit should be called and what phrase best sums up my stated mission. I was legitimately nervous hitting send, which surprised me. 

But if I think about it a little more, I really shouldn't have been surprised at myself. I've had many (what I consider) good ideas over the years, but as soon as I see that someone else has beaten me to the punch, I immediately abandon it. I've got a running note in my phone titled, "Good idea, Kate, but...". There's no confidence that I could do something better/different enough for both my version and the version that "beat me" to coexist. I try to motivate myself by pointing out all of the competing fast food restaurants, big box stores, etc. Hundreds of the SAME businesses coexisting and thriving (in some cases). That is capitalism! Giving up is sooooooo easy, and I'll admit, it's what I do. 

SIDEBAR: Growing up I tried out for a couple of youth sports

teams, and played piano (for 7 grueling years). With every

single one of those types of challenges, inevitably there

came a moment where I was "done". I wasn't succeeding

and getting frustrated so I would quit. Credit goes to my

father in trying his hardest to put a smile on my face and 

motivate me at the same time. Without fail, when I would

reach my breaking point, he'd launch into his go-to speech...

"George Washington? He never gave up!

Thomas Jefferson? He never gave up!

[Insert famous person relevant to what I was struggling with]? He never gave up!

Clyde Witherspoon*?...Never heard of him, have ya? Well, HE GAVE UP!"

*This last was always some nonsense name, and was

always different. Sadly, I don't remember any of the 

nonsense names my dad actually used, so this is the

first thing that popped into my head.

It ALWAYS made me laugh, and ALWAYS irritated me.

Unfortunately, it appears to have had the opposite effect.

Eventually I realized there were no "stakes" if I quit. The 

consequences were never enough to sway me to keep

trying. Absolutely selfish. ZERO competitive drive. If I

didn't enjoy the activity (often), and I wasn't that good at it,

why force it? Better to devote my efforts to activities I

enjoy and am good at. This has informed my approach

to life to this day.

With animal rescue, there are so many unwanted and abandoned animals that there almost seems to be no such thing as "too many" rescue groups. Redundancy and overlap are fine because the need is that great - no one organization could possibly solve the pet overpopulation issue on their own. All that to say that when I have wanted to quit this pursuit of my animal transport non-profit (and I certainly have), I manage to find myself diving back in and continuing to trudge forward.

This certainly feels different than any other thing I've wanted to do/create in the past. It feels inevitable. It feels like it will happen. I have never felt this before. It fills me with excitement. It feels good.

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